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After college, I decided knew something needed to change, however I was afraid to set a food inside a gym thinking people were going to wonder what I was doing, or watch me not being able to operate the machines correctly. Until one day I decided, enough was enough. Even if I just lost a few pounds I would be happy. After waiting for people who said that they would go to the gym with me and never went, or went ahead without me, I realized that the only person that is going to be able to change my life is me. After Christmas 2008, I decided my resolution would be to rebuild my life, no matter what it took. It was either now or never. I wasn’t sure exactly how I was going to do it, but I knew I didn’t want to feel the same way, another new year from then. I opened the doors at the Big Vanilla Athletic Club and hopped on a treadmill for the first time. I started slowly, just a light jog, maybe 3.5mph (which is now noth- ing!), and managed to increase my speed day by day. I continuously went back again and again, four to five days a week. Eventually got onto the stationary bike, then the elliptical, and pushed myself. As I saw the numbers on the scale dropping, it kept me motivat- ed to keep going and going. Even- tually I moved and swapped gyms, but even after then, I hit the ground running at my new gym as soon as I was able to find one, until even- tually I hit a plateau I couldn’t get past... That is when I knew I wanted professional help and signed up to work with one of the gym trainers. TRANSFORMATION There were various different stages of pain as I was re-learning to walk again, but I knew I had to endure it, or it would not ever return to functioning normal. Even though I was back at the gym, I couldn’t remember why I was working out like I was, as I didn’t have my drive like before since I couldn’t do anything that intense. But day-by-day, I was able to get back into some cardio and eventually, and about four to five months later, I was jogging again. I saw a glimmer of hope, that things would eventually be somewhat normal. There was a ridiculous amount of pain, and even now, a lot of discomfort when doing any physically activity that involves my left leg, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. Just after Christmas 2010, I suffered a major binging episode. For the first time, the thought of wanting to throw everything up to make myself feel better came to my head. That is when I realized I needed professional help with my diet. I had also developed a habit of needing to burn off everything I ate as soon as I ate it. I was afraid to eat anymore than 30-40g carbs in a day, and sleeping with food in my stomach. I would even do abs and pushups right before bed so that I felt hungry, and therefore, felt safe. In January 2011, I hired nutritionist Danielle Omar, who resides in the D.C. area who set me straight on a “normal” athletic adult eating diet. She got me eat- ing six times a day, and showed me how to put my meals to- gether. But it still wasn’t enough. I knew it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to look like my idols on websites such as simplyshredded. com and bodybuilding.com. I began looking at athlete’s diet plans and noticing a pattern in most of their diets. There were particular foods that I would see used over and over again, and also saw that everything was mea- sured. I also noticed that most of “As soon as I began weight training, I immediately broke through my plateau. I got help with my eating habits and exposed to a variety of things I could do.” I knew I wanted help from a personal trainer when I walked in so I immediately signed up, with the notion to get just introduced to the machines and learn how to use them. Initially I had been way to afraid to hit the weight floor by myself with all the hardcore guys walking around, but with a trainer by my side, I felt comfortable. For some reason, I got way more satisfaction from the burn, versus doing cardio. I even worked out harder on my own than with my trainer! She had to keep telling me to back off a bit and not wear myself out before working out with her! It was my drive to prove something to everyone who had ever hurt me or called me names growing up, that gave me the mo- tivation and fire to keep going and workout harder. Everything seemed to be go- ing great towards the end of 2009. I was just about at my goal weight, still going routinely to the gym, and had even developed a love for running. At this time I was running up to 7mph! However, two days after Christmas, I suffered a huge break to my tibia and fibula after slipping on ice, and was admitted to the hospital for two days, where I received a tibial nail and screws. As soon as I hit the ground, the first thoughts where “When will I be able to run again?”, “Oh my god, if I can’t workout, I am going to get fat!” etc. For the most part, I was upset and in shock because I knew immediately, I had done something detrimental and would be out of my routine for a while. I was on crutches, post surgery, for about four to five months up until May 2009, where even after I had gotten off of crutches, I had developed depression, bad eat- ing habits, which eventually led to binge eating later in the year, and was lost as to where I was and why I was even working out like I was. Learning to walk again was one of the most painful things I ever had to endure, next to the initial break. Summer/Fall 2013 • FitnessX.com 23.